Warblerneck

"This fog is thick as peanut butter."

"You mean pea soup."

"You eat what you like and I'll eat what I like!"

- Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the Elf

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

SHWM Seeks CHWF FGT

To help make a little extra cash around here, I thought I'd rent out parts of the blog for classified ads. Below is our first one. I'm going to have to be more specific about payment options in future. This one paid me in caterpillars.

SHWM Seeks CHWF FGT**

Hey ladies, are you single and looking for a good nesting spot? Are you a little late off migration and searching for a male with a nice, stripey tail and an excellent singing voice? Then I'm your guy.

Come lay your eggs in this sweet 12 bedroom mansion I've found for our lovers' getaway! We'll make beautiful music together as we flit through the tree branches of our lovely estate. I have it all, but I only need to find that "special someone" to make life complete.

Please. Ladies, if you're a cowbird, don't waste my time.

**"Single House Wren Male Seeks Cute House Wren Female For Good Time"

Sunday, June 17, 2007

The Porcupine Whisperer

Lula's Mom mentioned in the comments: "That must have been so stressful for you." Actually, the whole story is this:

I let Zeke out to pee that evening and when he took longer to return than usual, I went out looking for him. I heard a lot of barking and at first thought it was a neighbor dog attacking Zeke. I ran back to the house to get a flashlight and when I came back realized it was Zeke barking alone and it didn't sound like any barking he'd ever done before. Then I heard him yelp... and silence. I yelled for Zeke again and I heard something big crashing through the woods towards me. In a panic I thought "Oh shit. It's not a neighbor's dog. It's a bear. It just killed Zeke and it's running at me. In the dark."

Zeke appeared out of the woods and laid down on the ground about 15 feet from me. In the dark it looked like he had a huge tear in his neck. (It was just his thick coat making shadows with the flashlight.)

So really, when I walked over to him and he had only a snoot-full of porcupine quills, I felt a rush of RELIEF!! And then, yes, the whole episode turned out to be really, really funny.

So all's well that ends well, and neither one of us has been eaten by a bear. Yet.

Now enough of that - who wants to see some sexy tail?



Ooh yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

What I Did With My Birthday Money

So a couple of you very kindly gave me some money for my birthday. And I've been having a good time trying to decide what to do with it. A couple DVDs....maybe some yarn....new clothes for work....

But last night I decided to spend it on something else.

I put a very small downpayment on these:

Well. The ones on the right were free, actually. The ones in the little baggy cost $465.


Can you guess what they are?

And no, it's not some new street drug, you sickos.

I'll give you a hint. I paid for them here.


Still not sure?

This is where I first saw them at 9:30 last night and decided I just HAD to have them all.


Stupid. Stupid. Dog.

He couldn't quite make the mental connection that he had something sticking out of his nose and kept trying to sniff me and bump his head against my leg.

And kept jamming his nose out the cracked window during the entire car ride. Especially during times when we sat in a road construction backup, providing entertainment for other drivers and members of two road crews.

This is half of them. I pulled the first half out myself with a pair of (sterilized) needle nosed pliers, before Zeke calmly explained to me that he wasn't going to let me take any more out. He was a very good dog - he didn't cry or snap at me even once. He just refused to hold still. 70 pound dogs can do that.

Here's Zeke doing his best Tommy Chong impersonation after our return from the vet:

"Morphine man. Can you dig it? Far out man."

The bad news: I STILL haven't seen a porcupine. I missed the whole thing.

The good news: I was saving up to have his teeth cleaned next month, and they went ahead and did it all in one shot. And trimmed his nails too. Now THAT'S a good vet.

Friday, June 08, 2007

TWO Finished Objects!

First:

A hat.

A little retirement present for Dad.

It's a binary code hat! I got the idea and the pattern for the ones and zeros from a free pattern online. Then I had to figure out how to turn it into a hat.

The color is a little washed out here. The green is a very bright lime green.

Second:

A house!!

OK I obviously didn't make the house....and it's not quite finished. But Dad got the keys a few days ago and the contractor is finished.

Well. Except for a bunch of stuff that the first contractor screwed up and now has to be corrected. But try and work with me here people.

So if by "finished" we mean the siding is up and all the doors and windows are on and the roof is finally finished and there are porches where there didn't used to be...it's finished!


I'd show you pictures of the inside, but the batteries went dead on the camera. Use your imaginations for now, and once I'm able to take more pics, we can find out how your psychic powers are progressing.

PS. In case you were wondering. Zeke's favorite part about the house is the trash pit where the guys pile everything from scrap pieces of wood to entire cheeseburgers and empty Pepsi cans. mmmmmm yummy. Then they burn all the trash and the smells get even more intriguing and interesting. Good times for a dog.