"This fog is thick as peanut butter."

"You mean pea soup."

"You eat what you like and I'll eat what I like!"

- Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the Elf

Saturday, April 28, 2007


Don't look now - but things are actually growing - OUTSIDE - all by themselves!

No blog last weekend partly because I was busy being OUTSIDE and then was too tired to move when I finally came inside.

At Mom and Dad's place, I experienced something new. Temps were in the 70's and very sunny - enough that I was uncomfortably warm. aaaaaaahhhhh! But there was still a lot of snow on the ground. And it was hard snow too - not melty, mushy snow. In some places, there were still maybe 8 inches of snow left, but there was no cold radiating off of it at all. Very, very weird.

In other news, the little vegetable garden in my living room is actually growing! In fact, as the pictures below will show, the Bush Garden Beans kind of scared me a little. I swear to you, these pictures are only 24 hours apart.

I was so excited to see new baby beans juuuuust poking out of the dirt. Awww! They're growing!

But the next night, it was growing dark by the time I came into the living room and I walked past the plants not really looking at them and they startled me! I was actually a little freaked out and afraid to touch them.

What do they WANT?

Another day, I noticed they were leaning way over to find the sun, so I turned the pot around and left the room. ONE HOUR later, they were standing straight up. I could have watched them stand upright. Honestly - that's not natural.

Now I'm standing waaay back from the table to get the plants in the shot.

Phew! Now we know why the story was Jack and the Beanstalk, as opposed to Jack and the Basil, which evidently can't be bothered to start growing yet.

Wow, I'm kind of stretching for good blog material huh? Making you watch beans grow and stuff...I'll try to do better next time.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Why You Should Always Run to the Window Whenever Zeke Barks:

Because sometimes it means there's a turkey in the yard! And then after you injure yourself in the mad dash for a camera, wearing only long underwear because you were right in the middle of changing your clothes, you might notice not just one turkey, but a whole flock(?) gobble(?) gang(?) What do you call a lot of turkeys? ummm..... I know! tasty! You might notice a whole tasty of turkeys right in your backyard!!

See? Look at the top of the middle tree above the Blair Witch Doghouse. It's a terrible, blurry picture of a Gobble Gobble Yum-Yum! Ain't he cute?

Not very bright though, are they? He struggled to find a comfy spot in this tree to settle down for the night, but two trees over is a giant pine tree, with not only much larger branches, but cover to prevent predators and hunters from seeing him. One can only sigh heavily and hope for the best.

The next afternoon, Zeke and I went out to look for tracks. The woods down by the stream are completely covered in turkey tracks. I think they had a little turkey rave back there.

I also found these tracks coming out of the stream and heading straight up an almost 90 degree cliff to the neighbor's backyard. Any guesses? They're almost as big as Zeke's tracks and they looked webbed! They couldn't possibly be otter or beaver tracks right? I mean, that would be too good to be true.

I'm not even going to mention the cat tracks that are too big to be housecat tracks. Those are also too good to be true. I must be hallucinating.

I'm pretty positive about the coyote tracks though, because when Zeke found some poop accompanying them, he put his Very Serious Face on and carefully peed on the poop. He doesn't do that for ordinary dog poop.

Saturday I finally got some of my little seeds planted, for better or for worse. The suspense is killing me! They don't just pop right up out of the dirt though, do they?

And earlier today: I finally caught our local snow plow in action! A whole winter has gone by and I still haven't gotten sick of seeing these things.

P.S. On a final note: while Zeke has gorged himself on every possible type of poop in the woods, including some very old, very mushy "mystery poop" I have discovered that he is not at all interested in turkey poop. Go figure.

P.P.S. Did anybody get the plastic baby in a King Cake this past Mardi Gras season? I need a little plastic baby to put in with my Rosemary plants.
...what? you know.....Rosemary's baby?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

In Which Wendy Was Up To No Good For Much of the Weekend

So I was in Lowes Saturday to buy more sticky traps. Which, by the way, in case you were wondering, if two mice get caught on the same sticky trap, one will sometimes eat the face off of the other one. Take my advice and don't look too closely at what they've been up to on there.

Anyway, so I was in Lowes and unfortunately the mousetrap section is part of the gardening section, which is where all the little seed packets are. I've been having way more fun than I imagined taking care of the many succulent plants (and one primrose) that I inherited from Grandma. And, it turns out, I got kind of used to pouring out water for the cat every five minutes, and now that she's gone, I still want to pour water out for someone. If you ever come to visit me, you will never be thirsty.

So as I stood in Lowes looking at the seed packets, it ocurred to me that I could start some vegetables inside and they would need lots of water and talking to. This might keep me occupied for a few more months until it's warm enough to plant them outside.

Check out the big purple beans on the right. I've never seen anything like it. According to the package, they grow into a bush. Or, as the Knights Who Say "Nicht" would say, A Shrubery!

The peppers are for both me and Mango. The Serrano Chili peppers are advertised as "One of the hottest peppers available!" Whoo weeee!

I didn't know which kind of tomatos to get, but I saw a package labeled "Easy Girl". I had a good time imagining a garden full of slutty tomato plants, until I got the seeds home and realized the label doesn't say "Easy Girl," it says "Early Girl." That name makes more sense, but I'm still a little disappointed... and wondering if I need to make a visit to the eye doctor.

I found the little starter cups made out of peat and then thought I'd pick up some potting soil. OK, do you people know how hard it is to find plain-old regular DIRT? Every single bag has fertilizer mixed in, and the labels, I swear to God, say "Wear gloves while using this product." So I can't touch it with my bare hands, but you expect me to EAT something that grew in it? I even found a bag of "Organic Potting Soil" - which was full of Miracle Gro fertilizer. ????????

Finally, I must have looked confused enough that a nice young 12 year old employee came over and helped me find the one brand of plain old regular dirt with nothing added to it. There were also bags of cow manure, which I was tempted by, but then thought they might have Salmonella or Ebola in them or something.

Now, I'm all ready to start planting...except I don't have a place to put all these pots. All the windows and furniture are already covered up with the other plants. Perhaps I should have thought this through a little more carefully first....Nah.

OK, gotta go wake Zeke up so I can give him more water. He looks dehydrated.

Friday, April 06, 2007

I'mmmm Dreeeeeaming of a Whiiite.....



Yes, the Easter bunny will have to hide his colored eggs in the snow this year. But around these parts, that can make for a grisly Easter egg hunt indeed. Zeke has been leaving a few "eggs" of his own all winter.


However - look what else is appearing in my yard!!

Crocuses! I am completely shocked by this turn of events. There are real live flowers growing in the middle of the yard....as if they know something about a distant, mythical land called "Spring."

P.S. Dudes. Somebody found my blog by googling "fascinating feces." I'm just speechless.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Who Knew?

Being a list of things Wendy has recently discovered:

1. Who knew that primroses really smell like roses?! (Or that I could actually keep one alive long enough to find out?)

2. Dude - they make red Peeps now!!! (Is it just me, or does the one on the left look like he's being coy?)

3. No more BSG until 2008???? FRAK! That FRAKKING sucks!! And Chief Tyrol is NOT a Cylon. If he is, I'm going over to their side.

4. Wow, they grow deer really big in these here parts.

Normal deer track:

Deer on steroids???

5. Speaking of deer. Who knew they would eat pine trees? Those little bastards ate my FU Tree. So far his new "shark cage" seems to be holding. Once again - please don't die FU.

I hate deer. Kill 'em all.