Warblerneck

"This fog is thick as peanut butter."

"You mean pea soup."

"You eat what you like and I'll eat what I like!"

- Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the Elf

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Sunday Evening sleep Log

11:35 pm - Force myself to go to bed because I have an early conference call that I need to be coherent for.

1:38 am - Awaken to loud rustling coming from the living room. After several terrified, adrenaline filled moments, realize it's the cat, walking around on the plastic I put down for painting.

1:42 am - The cat is throwing up in another room. Make mental note to remember to look for puke to avoid stepping on it in the morning.

1:52 am - Really want to sleep on my left side, but keep imagining that bitch from "The Ring" standing next to my bed, just about to pounce and make me make that horrible terrified face just before I die. (No, I'm not linking to anything to do with that movie. I might have to see that straight black hair and it would f me up for days.)

2:20 am - Dog is panting on the floor and shaking the bed. Get up to open window. Finally manage "sleeping on left side" trick without fear.

2:37 am - Woken by a weird squealing noise just outside the window. Frantically sit up and claw for the lamp, imagining that bitch from "The Ring" standing next to my bed, yada, yada, yada. The sound? Must have been a dream. Get up to "use the facilities." Walk back into the room to the very strong odor of skunk. Shit! That noise must have been a pissed off skunk right outside the window! Slam window shut, get back into bed. Phew!

2:45 am - Awaken to a new kind of "skunk." Zeke farted. Damn it's a doozy....but can't open the window because of skunk! Pass out due to toxic fumes.

4:14 am - Have very vivid dream of throwing up, including special spitting action sequence. Wake to discover (thank God) that I haven't actually thrown up. What the hell was that about? Bump head on bedside table trying to see clock without contacts in.

7:30 am - Walk into kitchen. Step in cat puke.

Good Morning, Sunshine!

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