Warblerneck

"This fog is thick as peanut butter."

"You mean pea soup."

"You eat what you like and I'll eat what I like!"

- Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the Elf

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Wendy's Handy Household Hints


So I bet you're wondering why a nice girl like me has a bottle of olive oil in the tub? Well let me just tell you. See this cat?

Yeah, this one. With the shifty eyes and the matted fur? This morning, Jessica got stuck on a sticky trap - yes - with a dead mouse. I suspect the mouse wasn't dead when she first got stuck, but she ain't talking. I found her walking around the house with the trap stuck to her front paw. This was after I got out of the shower (of course) and before I'd gotten dressed (also of course). As I frantically tried to find the tie to my bathrobe I asked Zeke why he didn't tell me the cat was in trouble. I think he actually rolled his eyes at me.

Since she'd been stomping around on the trap for God knows how long, it was firmly stuck to her foot and I had to use olive oil to get it off her paw. This involved locking her in the bathroom, running to the kitchen for the bottle and then having to shove the cat away from the door so I could get inside. As she had crammed herself right up against it, mouse and trap briefly popped under the door like a puppet show from hell.

Putting olive oil on a cat's paw isn't as neat and tidy a job as you might think, even when you put the cat in the bathtub to do it. She was pretty much covered in it when I was done. And I had to leave the bottle on the edge of the tub as a reminder to clean up the mess, so I don't kill myself slipping in olive oil tomorrow morning. What an embarassing way to die. They would wonder what the hell I was doing in there.

5 Comments:

At 2:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA HA HA HA! Do you have any idea what a funny visual that is? I'm gonna be laughing about this for days. I bet Jessica's fur and skin will be so soft and silky from her olive oil treatment. I had a little mouse friend peek at me from under the radiator this morning, the little sh@t. I have started using snap traps and I placed 12 around the kitchen this evening and am a little nervous thinking about what I might find in the morning. You know there is never just one mouse in the house. God only knows how many there are. Usually Robert is here to deal with them but since he's out of the country, I'm gonna have to clean up if I catch any. Blick! Anyway, happy mousing!

Hugs,
Lula's Mom

 
At 10:40 PM, Anonymous kirohe said...

Hilarious!

Yes, we remember how cats are when you are "helping" them.

ihavescars.

 
At 10:58 AM, Anonymous kathyjh said...

i thought the best part was the puppet show. you really must write a book.

 
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous anteve said...

Ok... it's been bugging me since I read this and got hysterical. At some point when oxygen returned to my brain I remembered my quandry.

So... how did you exactly get all the olive oil off the cat? I didn't think that was the "mess" you were referring to. She'd have slipped all over the house by now!!

Sounds like you'd need experts that have dealt with some of Exxon's past problems?

 
At 7:21 PM, Blogger Wendy Merganser said...

Oh hell - she's a cat. I just wiped the worst off with a towel and left her to clean herself the rest of the way on her own. What's a little olive oil on the furniture between friends? And hey, I'll save money on cat-laxative this month!

 

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